|Meet the Dullards by Sara Pennypacker, illustrated by Daniel Salmieri.|
Balzer + Bray, 2015.
We make it a habit to check the "New Release" shelves at the library each week. Monday, I saw the name "Sara Pennypacker," and knew we had to check this one out. The Clementine chapter book series is one of our favorites! And the illustrations looked fun. Checking the author/illustrator flap, we read that Daniel Salmieri illustrated Dragons Love Tacos, which we love.
This book is hilarious. Not only that, but it really speaks to me right now. We are not having a lot of fun these days. We spent our first week of break organizing and cleaning. My play opens this weekend. The mosquitos are nasty, and after being bitten at the park every evening at play rehearsal, I have little desire to head outside myself. The biggest pain is that we are on a tighter-than-usual budget. Stupid money.
I am the dullest mother on the planet.
At least, that's how it feels.
But I can now take comfort in the fact that I am not Mr. or Mrs. Dullard.
Mr. and Mrs. Dullard are intent on raising extremely dull children. They freak out when they find them - gasp! - reading. Reading books about circus skills, no less.
"Perhaps it's this place," he said. "Last fall, remember, some leaves turned color. And now this..." He pointed to an upsetting commotion in the driveway. "There's never a dull moment."
"You may be right. It's like a circus around here," Mrs. Dullard agreed. "This is no place to raise Blanda, Borely, and Little Dud."
The "commotion" is a snail! Look at the picture! Hahaha!
So the Dullards move from the box-shaped house in one town to a pyramid-shaped house in another. As soon as they walk in the door, a nice neighbor lady brings over an applesauce cake. "Please do not use exclamation marks in front of our children," she is told. They ask her if the applesauce is chunky or smooth. "Chunks are so unpredictable." It's chunky. They shut the door in her face and send the kids off to watch TV.
Look at the plug!
Oh, it's all pretty hilarious. The parents are shocked by the wallpaper in one room. They head to the paint store, where they buy paint the color of "oatmeal left in the pot." They take the kids for vanilla ice cream cones, but they tell the guy to "Hold the cones. And extract the vanilla."
Mr. and Mrs. Dullard are so mesmerized, watching the paint dry, they fail to notice their offspring sneaking away.
Too much excitement! They decide to move back to their box.
They fail to notice the billboard. The last page is pretty fabulous, but...
You have to check it out for yourself. It's much to exciting to post here.
So, look kids: I'm not that boring! Really! I told you!
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