Turning Ten


My beautiful oldest daughter turned ten this weekend. I brought cupcakes to school on Friday, and made her a quiche on Sunday. Last night, Little Sis went to a birthday slumber party, and my 10-year-old and I watched Poltergeist. ("It was a good movie, but it wasn't scary, Mom.")

My 10-year-old.  I'm having trouble wrapping my brain around that fact. Somewhere in my mind, she will always be this:



The chubby, compact little baby who wanted to be snuggled 24/7, who made the sweetest noises in the world, loved the Maya Wrap sling, and fell asleep in the crook of my arm every night.

I still see that face. I still see my toddler dancing and chatting, watching Jakers! and Nina and Star with her daddy, playing with her newborn sister, going to preschool, at her first dance class in her pink ballet leotard, helping me plan storytimes at a bookstore that closed nearly 4 years ago.

I still hear us singing along with Jack's Big Music Show, Dan Zanes, Moose & ZeeImagination Movers. Reading Goodnight Moon, The Owl and the Pussycat, Olivia, Fancy Nancy, and Angelina Ballerina over and over again. Falling asleep to me singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow," telling her the story of "Cinderella," and finally, reading all of the Oz books for the first time.

I hear her tiny voice mispronouncing all the big words she understood better than she could speak. I see her walking on tiptoes, playing dress-up and tea party.

When she was a newborn, I remember bawling off and on for days after leaving the hospital. I was so acutely aware of how precious and fragile and fleeting that time would be. Music would set me off. She had a massage bouncer with two music settings, and I forbade one of them from being used in my presence, because I was convinced it sounded like the soundtrack to a montage in my mind, showing the passing of time from babyhood to adulthood. When Little Sis was born, I cried again, because my first baby was now a toddling two-year-old. Yes, I was a hormonal mess, both times, but these were real feelings.

This is my baby. She isn't really a baby now. She's a preteen, a fourth-grader. Her birthday party won't be until next week, but her present from her daddy was a copy of My Side of the Mountain, not Angelina Ballerina. 


She's such an amazing human being, and I am so proud of her, every single day.

Her favorite music is pop: Taylor Swift, Lorde, Adele, P!nk, Owl City, Florence + the Machine. She loves tween Disney and Nick stuff (even though she's too cool to admit it), but her favorite show is Parks & Recreation. She likes crafting and reading, and she still loves to dance, although she opted not to audition for The Nutcracker this year. She is waiting until next year, when her Little Sis can join her.

So I guess you could say I'm a hormonal mess right now. I'm a terribly sentimental mama, and it's rough, dealing with ten. What will I be like when she starts high school? College? Beyond that?

A decade as a mama. It really does feel like this journey began yesterday. I can still smell fresh babies and feel their tiny bodies in my arms.

My missing camera charger has a lot to do with my lack of blogging right now, as well as my schedule, but also, I'm in a weird spot right now. I will get back to books as soon as I can.

Our four day weekend is almost over, and I'm spending time with my babies who aren't babies.


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Comments

  1. What will you be like? I guess tearful AND proud AND thankful!!!

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    1. Oh, most definitely! ;) Total blubbery, bawling, proud, happy mess.

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  2. Aw happy birthday little girl! May you always make your mama proud and happy! I know these feelings you're describing so well -even though my oldest isn't five yet- and the bawling after they were born? You hit home. Fragile is the word.
    Happy happy everything to your beautiful girl and family! :)
    P.S. I'm even more terribly sentimental than usual these days. New baby on the way.. :)

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    1. Oh! Congratulations!!!! How wonderful for you! When???

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    2. Thank you! Early January. 6th month already starting... Actually that's why I've been sooo lazy about blogging this summer.. I've been so tired I go to sleep as soon as the girls do! Hoping to change that soon... :)

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    3. Get your rest! You just moved not too terribly long ago, too, right? That's so exciting.

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  3. OH sweet D! I'm a mess right now too. (health issues) We can be messy together. But HAPPY day to your big girl. I know, I get it. I have an almost 10 yr old and I just can't even with that. She was my toddler just yesterday. All the feels. Good gravy.

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    1. I know you know. :) And I'm obviously coming off that T.O.T.M., of course, which have become much more roaster-coastery since I hit my mid-30s. Sigh.

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  4. Congrats! Ten is a big deal! And she likes P & R? She is SO cool! My eldest is as tall as me now and I keep thinking, but I just put away my maternity clothes? Where did that time go?

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    1. I still find maternity clothes that somehow escaped purging. My room is such a disaster. Closet clean-out must happen very soon.

      Yes, she watched all of P&R on Netflix and Hulu, then finally got us watching it with her recently. So we introduced her to 30 Rock, which she loved as well. I just started her on Cheers - kickin' it old school! (This makes it sound like we watch waaaaay too much TV, but not really. I swear.)

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    2. Oh Cheers! I had forgotten about it. Great idea. I want to get back to Frasier too. Wasn't Kesley Grammars (sorry don't know how to spell his name) wife on Real Housewives of somewhere? Now I want to watch that too!

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    3. We love Frasier, too. In fact, it's one of my husband's all-time top favorite TV shows, and he really wanted to skip Cheers and start her on it instead. I told him she'd appreciate it more if she saw where it came from, though. Yeah, his wife (ex-wife? There've been so many!) was on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills or something. I don't have cable, so I've never watched. :)

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